What Was Lost
by VanillaAshes
Summary: How does the Romanogers family deal with the war against Thanos? Are any of them lost in the snap? How will they cope? Endgame spoilers. This is the fourth in the series. 1st, Undercover as Steves Girlfriend. 2nd, Learning to Love. 3rd, Familiar Bonds.
1. Snap

**Hello everybody! **

**Violet and I are back!**

**This is the fourth installment of our Avengers stories. It may be helpful to read them, but I will leave a short summary for anybody that wishes to skip straight to this story.. **

**In order of the stories: Undercover as Steve's Girlfriend. Learning to Love. Familial Bonds. **

**Short summary to update you: Steve and Natasha end up getting together after a prolonged time together, they end up adopting two children, Selina (now 7) and Chloe (now 17). Chloe is currently in a relationship with Peter Parker (17) and they have a 1-month-old son called Carter. **

**Howie (2 years old) is Pepper and Tony's son. And Arie/Arianna (3 years old) is Rhodey and Wanda's daughter. **

**It was a long process to decide to write a fourth installment, but hope you're happy to see it. **

**This story ignores the little future scenes we posted to tie up Familiar Bonds. **

**This is set straight after Infinity War. Warning for spoilers of Endgame throughout this story.**

* * *

Natasha watched in absolute horror as people were being blown out of existence, disintegrating into the wind. She ran and came to a halt by Steve who had fallen to the ground in despair… defeat… pain? She wasn't sure which. All she knew was that they had lost. Failed. Thanos won. Half of all living creatures were gone.

A buzzing in her pocket became prominent after a few minutes of absolute silence. The vibration could be heard loudly in the deafening silence. It was only after the third ring, when Banner looked at her questioningly, that she numbly pulled the phone from her pocket to see who was calling - who was delivering more bad news? Who had they lost?

It was Chloe's number - and she realised she hadn't considered the fate of her children. They hadn't been safe either, even though they were at Clint's house with Laura.

But it was Chloe's phone calling her - so that had to be good… right?

Nat answered the call, putting the phone to her ear and uttering a hoarse "Romanoff," which gained the attention of everyone in the immediate vicinity. The words seemed like a dagger to some who were slowly letting the magnitude of what had just occurred sink in.

The calm before the storm had ended.

They now had to deal with their failure.

"Mum! I don't know what happened! I don't know what to do! Carter keeps crying and everybody's gone!" her youngest, Selina, cried into the phone.

By the reactions around her, she was sure a few could hear Selina's hysterical words - including Steve and Banner.

"Everyone?" she questioned, not sure if she could keep the facade of a cold assassin intact while talking to her seven-year-old daughter who was miles away with no adult supervision.

"Yeah! I don't know where they went! Chloe a-and Laura and Nate and Lila and Cooper and Nicole! I-I can't find them anywhere!"

Nat couldn't process this. That was more than half… that was Clint's whole family. That was her daughter. Gone. Gone because they couldn't stop Thanos.

She felt a presence behind her and just knew it was Clint - and worse, she knew he'd heard.

Steve stood up and took the phone off her without any resistance, looking oddly calm. But Natasha knew that underneath that mask, he was overcome with emotion.

"Everything is going to be okay, Sel," Steve said, his voice strong and showing no hint as to what had just happened. "Give Carter some food and look after him - we know you can do it. One of us will be there soon to pick you up."

Natasha stared at Steve before turning around to Clint.

Everybody slowly began moving and beginning to work out what to do. Within a minute, Steve began to organise things.

* * *

After a few hours, Selina heard a Quinjet. She was used to hearing it now and looked at Carter as he slept on the couch, pleased with how she'd successfully looked after him. He'd eaten, she'd changed his disgusting nappy, and she'd calmed him down enough that he'd fallen asleep.

Selina had spent a lot of time searching the house for anybody else, even after talking to her parents. She was used to people leaving suddenly, once in this same way… but it didn't make it hurt less. Somehow, the more she knew somebody, the more it hurt. She didn't like that.

"Selina?" her mum called for her upon entering the house.

Without hesitation, Selina ran towards her, slamming into her legs and trying not to shake. She pulled back after a minute and instantly knew something was very wrong. Her mum looked defeated.

"What happened?"

She watched her mum take a deep breath before walking over to the couch and sitting down with her, resting a gentle hand on Carter's head and combing through his hair with her fingers. "There was a very big fight with a very bad man. He used some powerful magic which… and… he sent half of all the people on Earth… somewhere else."

Selina stared at her, stunned. She couldn't quite believe what she was hearing, but she had no reason to suspect her mum of lying to her. "Where?"

Her mum faltered for a moment, Selina saw. "Nowhere… he just sent them all away."

"What? No… you're wrong! You can't just send people away like that!" Selina stated, getting agitated - her mum must have been lying after all. "They just left, didn't they? They left me and you and they're not coming back. Not because of a mean magic guy - they just don't care about us anymore!"

That had to be it!

She just knew it was because they'd stopped loving her, and not because… not because…

They just didn't want to stay anymore. That was less painful than what Mum said.

Selina took a deep breath, feeling the anger radiating from her as her mum just sat there patiently. Being angry was better than being sad. She wanted to scream and shout at her mum even more. She wanted to destroy the room and break everything. She wanted to punish those who'd left her.

But she wouldn't. Because her mum was here.

It might have taken hours but Mum had answered her call and came for her. She had proved that she'd always be there - her dad, too.

For years she'd thought Chloe had… but, thinking about it, she was always out with her boyfriend and cared about him more. She wanted to be with him and live with him - she had said as much.

But why didn't she take Carter with her?

Selina took a deep breath to calm herself down. She wouldn't push her parents away. But now she didn't know what to say.

Thankfully, her mum took the opportunity. "Let's pack your things, and Carter's, and we'll head back to the base."

Base? Selina wondered why they were going there instead of home, but didn't question it.

* * *

Nat got back to the base with Selina and Carter.

Both were wide awake and playing a game. Selina's laughter felt wrong - it didn't match what had just happened. Should happiness even be allowed? But she understood it. Selina thought they had just left her, since that had happened to her countless times before and she always bounced back - although Nat was sure there would be repercussions - and Carter was too young to really understand what was going on. He was just a month old.

She just hoped they were able to reverse this sooner rather than later - before Selina's anger at Chloe for leaving really cemented.

Before going to collect Selina, she had heard about so many deaths - so many family and friends: Bucky, T'Challa, Wanda… In a way she was happy to get away from learning who had died in Thanos' snap - she would rather have a list of who had lived… but so far, it seemed much too short.

Now she had to go back into that atmosphere and keep herself together. She just needed time to process or time to kill. Whichever came first, she would happily take.

She pushed herself up and out of the cockpit, picking up Carter. "Let's go."

Selina walked down the ramp almost hesitantly before breaking into a full run the second Steve came into view. She hugged him with a crushing grip.

"Conference room, thirty minutes," he quietly told Natasha as he hugged the little girl back.

Natasha nodded in reply. "I'll get Carter settled."

"Pepper's here." She nodded once again nodded before she and Steve walked off in different directions.

* * *

Natasha only half-listened to the list of known survivors - she was happy that it lasted a while… but not long enough.

She let her mind wander to what they could do. How could they find Thanos? Where could he be?

Steve's hand on her thigh returned her full attention to the matter at hand. Everybody had gone silent.

When nobody spoke, Natasha decided it was time to take the lead.

"We have to find Thanos, kill him, and reverse this. It's going to take time… we know he made a portal and left, and we presume he's no longer on Earth since he's done what he intended to, but we cannot guarantee that. We will find him and we will take him down. Until then we have to do damage control; we must keep the civilians safe - the ones remaining. We cannot get complacent. We must train and be ready."

Natasha paused, her voice almost breaking, but it didn't.

"Be ready at all times. We'll be sending out digital searches to ensure he's not on Earth. Right now we need to rest, though; we've just had a battle. Recuperate, sort out what you need to, and we'll meet back in here three days unless we find him."

Nobody moved right away, so Natasha stood and left the room without another word.

* * *

Natasha didn't know where she would go. She didn't even know who she wanted to see. Should she go somewhere she knew Clint would turn up? To comfort and be close to her best friend and the man she still felt she owed a debt? Or somewhere with Steve? Her husband, the man she wholeheartedly loved... the man who had had the most similar losses to herself. They could relate to one another in this - over the loss of their daughter. Or what about her living daughter, Selina? The seven-year-old who had once again lost some of her family, who now had to live in a world that had betrayed her again. Or her grandson, who would grow up without even remembering his mother? Whose father's status was unknown but was presumed dead?

Natasha didn't really want to see any of them - not yet. She wasn't sure if she'd be able to hold in her feelings and put on a mask long enough to be able to make an impact to anybody else - she'd just make things worse.

She was weak.

So she ambled through the halls until she came upon a large, empty room. The same one in which she had seen a picture of Nate for the first time. This place held plenty of memories, but none strong enough to break her… she was already broken, after all.

Natasha stared intensely at the blank wall in front of her as if daring it to turn to dust. She wasn't entirely sure why she was just standing in an empty room, but she wasn't sure of anything right now. They had failed and half of all living creatures had died as a direct result. Everything they aimed to accomplish had just turned to dust. So many people had perished while they stood, _pretending_ to be heroes.

They definitely weren't heroes now.

"I don't think the wall will give you answers," a voice suddenly piped up from behind her. Steve came to stand at her side, a small smile pulling at his lips. Even in her periphery it looked forced.

The look on his face was wrong on so many levels and yet he still was trying to be strong, to be optimistic. She couldn't help but feel annoyed by that.

"Wipe that smile off your face. It's as useful as the wall."

His face fell almost instantly, as though he was eager to acquiesce. However, without the semblance of cheer, he now looked older, more tired. The circles around his eyes were dark and his jaw was tense. But at least it was real.

"It's more useful than anything else I can do," he murmured, looking away.

For the first time since he walked into the room, Natasha truly looked at him for a second, then turned her attention back to the wall.

"You don't need to do anything right now… just being here… being alive is enough."

"But if I'm not _doing _anything…" he made a frustrated sound. "She relied on us. I feel like I've failed her."

The mention of their daughter tore into Natasha harshly and she almost closed off completely. This was why she had avoided everybody. She didn't want to hash out her feelings. It was only a matter of time until she'd be forced to - but it didn't mean she _wanted _to. Instead of replying in an open manner, she deflected.

"We will find Thanos and reverse it. She won't even know it happened," she stated, although she had no way of knowing if Chloe would know or not _when_ they got her back.

Steve seemed hesitant to reply for a moment, eyes now fixed on the same wall that had held her attention earlier. Finally, he said, "Even so, Sel will never forget. Neither will we… _dammit_…" he scrubbed his hand over his face. "I don't know what to say to her! She's determined to stay in denial and I don't want her thinking that way of Chloe, but… if it'll make it more painful for her…"

"It's a defense mechanism," Natasha replied shortly. Selina completely disregarding that the missing people had been dusted or died was probably for the best for the moment, since a seven-year-old shouldn't have to deal with that much grief, especially considering everything she had gone through already in her short life. But it wasn't healthy; Steve was right to be worried about how she was handling it. Selina was a smart girl and Natasha knew in her heart that she understood what was going on. "I'm not worried about her," she eventually added after a short moment of silence. She wanted to add more, more optimism… but that was never her specialty. Instead, she cleared her throat and tore her gaze away from the wall - it wasn't giving her any answers anyway. Nobody was going to give her answers apart from herself. "We should… rest and change."

They had to carry on. They both had duties. Duties to find Thanos and kill him, duties to save the world - which they had already failed, duties to look after their daughter and grandson in the meantime, instead of leaving them with an equally distraught Pepper.

Again there was a pause as he thought over how he wanted to respond, not bothering to hide the way he was studying her as if searching her thoughts. He must have found what he was looking for, because he eventually let out a long breath, seeming to deflate somewhat, and nodded. "You're right."

Natasha reached out and took his hand before they walked back to their room. They seemed to be going through the motions of getting ready for bed - removing the sweat-soaked Avengers uniforms they had on, showering and climbing numbly into the bed like they had a thousand times before.

Going through the motions, he rolled over to face her and moved closer, running his hand over her hair. Although he always tended to be more touchy-feely than her, this time seemed different somehow. The look on his face was slightly off, less pure affection and more hidden sadness.

Natasha looked up at him again but couldn't maintain eye-contact, so she moved closer to him and buried her head in the crook of his neck, holding him close. The pain of losing everybody was strong, however, the acknowledgment and relief that Steve was one of the remaining people in her life were there in the back of her mind. It made her feel conflicted that at least she hadn't lost him too.

He held her just as tightly, breaking just a little. His arms stayed wrapped around her without any indication of ever letting go.

The two of them laid there silently for the entire night, neither of them sleeping. Natasha simply waited for sunrise to be able to start the search for Thanos, to start the process of getting everybody back.

* * *

**Thank you very much for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you very much for the two reviews and those who are following and faved! **

**Here's the next chapter!**

* * *

Selina brushed her hair into a high ponytail before getting Pepper's permission to go find her parents. Pepper looked exhausted - Selina wanted to tell herself it was because she willingly looked after three children last night, but knew the real reason. Her mother hadn't been lying.

She walked through the dead-silent halls. Selina was expecting to hear the TV on in the background with one of the Avengers watching it, or hear Sam and Rhodey discussing the weather - at least, that's what they always changed their discussion to whenever they noticed her. There wasn't even the sound of fists on a punching bag or heavy breathing as one of them caught their breath during a workout.

Selina had to check the time multiple times - 7 am was _not_ early. And yet nobody was walking around or training.

She heard the tapping of a keyboard before she saw her mum; it was the only man-made noise in the whole compound as far as Selina was concerned. When she turned the corner into Natasha's office, she saw the holographic display her mum was scanning over - there was a constant stream of photos off to the side. When Chloe's face popped up, Selina was very aware it was showing her everybody that had died - that had been killed by the bad man. She changed her focus to the maps that were appearing, relaying information. Was she searching for something? Or someone?

"Mum?"

"Hi, Sel," her mum replied noncommittally; she didn't even look up from the screen.

Selina contemplated leaving her alone and looking for her dad instead but felt drawn to help, to do something. "Can I help?"

"Not today."

"There's gotta be something I can do! I'm good with computers," Selina defended, deciding she was not going to take no for an answer.

Her mother was a very hard nut to crack - in fact, Selina didn't think she'd ever won an argument against her unless her mum allowed it. The expression Natasha flashed her said that this would not be one of those times.

"Can you train me instead, then? You've taught me self-defense... teach me more. Teach me how to help."

There was a long silence, interrupted by the constant tapping on the keyboard.

Selina was almost giving up hope - thinking of how she could convince her father instead - when her mother spoke.

"Breakfast first - porridge just needs heating up, and make sure you eat lots of fruit with it. Then come and find me and I'll train you for an hour."

Selina grinned, gave her mum the strongest nod she could, and walked out.

* * *

Over the next few weeks, Selina fell into a very solid pattern. It did take a lot of work for the first few days, but the seven-year-old was very happy with the arrangement.

She'd wake up at 7 am, get ready and go to the kitchen where food had been premade - usually porridge. She'd heat it up if required and eat it with two fruits and a large glass of water. She'd then brush her teeth and do a few warm-up activities before finding her mum.

They'd train for an hour - which was really really difficult for her - before Selina would get on with some homework her mum had given her that day. Even though most of her teachers were gone and she wasn't allowed to go to school, she was still required to get an education. She'd spent three hours at the table working through everything. During this time, she'd usually see Rhodey, Pepper and her dad. Each would talk to her and answer any questions she had - after all, the work got harder and harder each day!

By the time noon arrived, she'd be starving and would make lunch for herself, Howie, and Arie - Carter was too young for solid foods and Pepper never wanted anything. Selina always made them sandwiches, changing the kind daily. She chose one fruit for Arie and Howie to share and had two fruits for herself. The five of them always ate together and talked about idle things. She spent most of the afternoon with them, and occasionally Rhodey too. Selina found she preferred Arie's and Howie's company over Pepper's. The older woman was never able to pretend that her life hadn't just fallen apart. She had lost her husband.

Rhodey was always fun when he played with them, especially around Arie. But he too had lost his significant other.

It would be approximately an hour after dinner when Selina would attempt to run all the way around the base each night. She'd nearly managed it, getting better each day, but ended up walking when she got too tired. It was a huge building.

Then she'd get ready for bed and wait for Dad to tuck her in. He only managed to tuck her in every other day, and on those days she fell asleep without a problem. However, on the days he couldn't, her mind wouldn't stop.

Selina knew what had happened, she knew how many people had died. Chloe, Bucky, Wanda, Vision, Tony, Laura, Cooper, Lila, Nate, Nicole, and countless others. She often cried herself to sleep when she was alone, unable to settle herself. That's why she loved her dad tucking her in; those few minutes made the biggest difference - she could pretend things were normal.

Unfortunately, she knew that everything had changed. She only saw her mum for about an hour a day and her dad for a few minutes every other day.

Everybody was defeated. And there was nothing Selina could actually do to help. Not really.

* * *

The cries from the woman in the park still rang in Steve's head as he trudged through the halls of the base aimlessly.

He'd been out amongst the civilians, trying to keep the peace as panic continued to wrack parents, siblings, and children about where their missing loved ones had gone. Many didn't believe the official explanation, even though most of it was actually accurate, and were wandering the streets in frantic search day after day.

One such parent was a young mother, barely more than a child herself, tearing the local park apart in search of her toddler.

He'd tried to calm her down… but that had only turned her desperation into a rage and she'd screamed at him until she was hoarse, screaming about hallucinations of her daughter disintegrating, screaming about her sheer terror, screaming about how utterly _alone _she now was…

By the end of it, she was a sobbing heap in the abandoned sandbox, refusing to hear words of comfort. It had taken all of his willpower to stay composed himself. He knew exactly how she felt. He still felt the stabbing pain of loss every day, and time and distance did nothing to lessen its sting. Her words might as well have been his own, she might as well have been crying both of their tears.

Now he was back 'home', except there was no comfort in that. The remnants of his family were nowhere to be found; Nat had gone off to do God knows what and Sel wasn't in her room or the training room. Carter was napping, and besides, he thought with no small amount of guilt, looking into those eyes… Chloe's eyes… it was too painful to bear right now.

Sighing, he rubbed at the back of his neck and turned a corner, headed for the kitchen. Maybe that's where his youngest had gotten to.

He was immediately met with the sound of chaos: something metal hitting the floor and a loud splash, along with Selina's cry of dismay. Alarmed, he hurried into the kitchen.

The child was kneeling on the ground rather pitifully, hand on the handle of an empty saucepan, its contents now spilled all over the floor.

Steve raised a brow, unable to stop the tiniest feeling of amusement from bubbling up. "What happened, Kiddo?"

Selina jumped immediately and swirled around to face him, a guilty look on her face. "Well…" she hesitated. "Mum always leaves out my dinner and it was the same as yesterday _and_ the day before… and Rhodey said I could have some spaghetti bolognese of his if I wanted to mix things up. He said he'd help me but Mum sent him off on a mission suddenly and then she had to go somewhere and I really wanted it... I've made food before when you or Mum or Chlo was around and didn't want to be a burden on anybody so thought I'd just do it myself but…" she looked down at the mess as she trailed off.

Poor kid. "It's alright, Sel- here, grab the paper towels for me." She did as asked, and together they made quick work of wiping up most of the mess. Then he wet a dish towel and finished cleaning the floor. "Okay, now…" he moved over to the fridge, gesturing for her to join him. "What sounds good? We've got plenty of ingredients."

Selina shrugged shortly. "I can just microwave the fish pie. I know you're busy."

Like that wasn't a dagger to his heart. He realised quite suddenly that he'd been all but neglecting Selina in his grief. He'd left feeding her to Nat, he'd left training her to Nat… he tucked her in every other night, but that was only a few minutes out of an entire day.

The near-apathy he'd been wallowing in for weeks lifted as determination took over. "No ma'am - we need to get you some _real _food, and I'm the only one around here who knows how to make it. So what would you like?"

Selina hesitated for a full second before slowly replying with a hopeful smile. "Can we have mac and cheese?" She glanced up at him to see his reaction, hesitantly waiting for his reply.

He leaned down conspiratorially, gesturing for her to come closer. "You're in luck," he said quietly, "because that happens to be my specialty."

The excited look on her face warmed him to his core, and for the first time in a long time, he was able to smile genuinely.

She reached into the fridge and pulled out the cheese with a huge grin quickly spreading across her face. "We're gonna need lots and lots of cheese... do you think this will be enough?"

It was way too much. "Are you kidding? Not nearly enough!" While she grabbed more cheese, he went to the pantry to get the pasta - grabbing enough to feed at least five people. Go big or go home, right? Wasn't that what the kids these days were saying?

He returned to Selina, finding she had already gotten everything they needed to make the sauce from scratch and had collected two clean saucepans. He also noticed she had turned the stereo on and was humming along to it.

"I put on one of your old people CDs. I like it!"

No wonder the tune had sounded so familiar. He made an offended spluttering sound. "Old? _Old? _I'll have you know that being almost a century old _doesn't _mean I am technically 'old'!" It had the intended effect and she giggled. Honestly, he was touched that she was so thrilled to spend time with him, and was equally glad he'd decided to do this. Even though they were in the midst of a tragedy, sometimes a good moment was simply in order.

The two of them worked together seamlessly as they put on the pasta and began making the sauce. Selina knew every single step… though, he did have to stop her from adding too much cheese; there was only so much his arteries would be able to take.

Throughout it all, she was his eager helper - even though she often took the lead. Although he did have to draw the line at holding the strainer while he drained the water from the pasta; she didn't seem to know how wickedly hot the steam could be, let alone how easy it would be to burn those little fingers with stray drops of water… No, he had her sit on the sidelines for that part, but made it up to her by letting her mix it all together.

He had to admit it: it looked much better than it would have if he'd made it without her. He was a master chef, of course, but Selina certainly had talent.

He said as much as they were sitting down to eat.

She beamed and tucked into the meal with relish. "This is the best! Thank you, Daddy!"

As cheesy as it was to admit, that completely made him melt.

* * *

Selina woke up in the morning feeling refreshed. Seeing her Dad the day before had been incredible. It really felt like old times, like things were slowly starting to get back to normal - as normal as it could be, anyway. It made her feel more hopeful and more determined to learn everything she could so she could be more helpful.

She followed the same routine that day, but there was nothing out of the ordinary. The same breakfast, same hour of training, a new set of homework, same lunch and afternoon routine. That didn't dampen her enthusiasm and she trained in the gym even more than she had any day previously.

Over the next week, her determination only grew, and she managed to get all the way around the base and lasted longer while training with her mum - so much so that the session lasted longer than an hour.

It was a night that her dad had tucked her in after spending longer with her before bedtime that things changed.

Selina woke up to her room shaking in the middle of the night. An earthquake? She heard somebody run past her door and poked her head out. As the shaking stopped, she gained confidence and wandered out of her room to investigate.

She knew she was safe but couldn't help shaking in mild fear.

Quietly, she poked her head around each corner until she saw her dad leading Tony in. He was alive? Did that mean they were _all _alive again?

Selina knew that if she made her presence known, she'd be sent back to bed and somebody would ensure she didn't hear anything, so she remained silent. As calculating as a seven-year-old could be after just waking up, she waited for the best opportunity to follow them and hide to listen in on the conversation and see some of what was happening.

Her curiosity grew until Tony started getting angry and ended up shouting at Dad. Selina couldn't contain her gasp as Tony collapsed to the ground. She hoped they were all too focused on him to notice - but it was almost impossible that she'd managed to get this far undetected.

"Come on," her mother said, pulling her out of her hiding place and leading her off.

Selina turned and looked around, yearning for more information. She locked eyes with a blonde woman she didn't know and shakily returned the smile sent her way.

"Try to get back to sleep," her mother said as they got back to Selina's bedroom.

"If Tony's alive, does that mean others are alive too?" she asked quickly, needing to know.

Her mum shook her head. "No. Tony wasn't… he was stuck on a different planet."

Selina opened her mouth in shock; had that been what he was talking about? Even though she knew that they had been previously attacked by aliens, she hadn't imagined anybody she knew would be on another planet. She didn't even consider Thor to be an alien. This was making her reconsider everything she knew.

"Try to sleep," Mum repeated, leaving her alone in her room.

Selina was very tempted to climb back out of bed but thought better of it. Instead, she laid there, fully intent on staying awake and thinking over everything she'd learnt. But she couldn't keep her eyes open for longer than ten minutes - apparently thinking about aliens wasn't enough to keep her awake.

She wasn't even woken up when her parents went off-world to fight Thanos.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hello! Thank you for the support so far! You are all amazing! **

* * *

Selina slipped out of bed, ready for another day. She contemplated her outfit before deciding on white leggings and a blue top, matched with her normal black trainers. After pulling her hair into a low ponytail she made her way to the kitchen like she had several times before. However, this time, there wasn't any pre-made food for her to reheat. Confusion set in before she saw the loaf of bread and chuckled to herself. Toast - of course! Her mum couldn't leave the bread out on a plate.

She popped two slices of bread into the toaster before getting out some butter, taking her time to choose her fruit. She opted for strawberries and an apple. She almost jumped when the toaster pinged and quickly buttered the toast before placing it on the table and getting herself a cup of milk.

As Selina ate, she thought about the new technique her mum had taught her yesterday and went over it in her head. They were sure to be practicing it more today.

Eagerly she skipped to the gym and noted that her mum wasn't there yet. Selina had gotten there rather early - it seemed she was getting quicker and quicker at eating. The seven-year-old checked the time before sitting down for the allotted 'ten-minute rest' before she was allowed to warm up after eating. Her mum was so weird with some of her rules.

Finally, the ten minutes were up and she jumped up, going over a general warm-up first before moving into a more 'specialised' warm up, as her mum called it. It was only after she had begun to tire and retreated to the side for her bottle of water did she note that her mum was officially five minutes late. That wasn't like her. Should she be worried?

Suddenly she remembered the night before when Tony had returned - how had she forgotten that? Quickly, she downed the bottle of water then ran to find him. It didn't take long, and soon she was standing outside the hospital wing.

Slowing down, Selina looked around - she wasn't allowed in there. But Tony was alone… surely she'd need to go in there to get an adult's permission.

Peering her head in, she smiled sheepishly as he looked at her. "Hi."

He sent her a tired smile. "Come in, Selina."

She smiled even more before walking in and straight up to the side of the bed. "You look tired."

"Thanks, kiddo. Are they back yet?"

"Who?" she asked, tilting her head to the side in confusion. Who was he asking about? Everybody that had vanished? Somebody else? "You're back."

Tony paused, looking down at the drip connected to his hand; it was clear he did not want to be there. "Yeah, I'm back. Is Howie awake yet?"

"Want me to go find him and bring him here?" Selina asked, realising he probably hadn't seen his son. At Tony's weak nod, she bolted from the room in order to find the two-year-old. She knew where he would most likely be - his bedroom. The young boy should be awake by now.

As she got closer she slowed down before slipping into the room. She found Howie awake, standing in his cot. She looked at a sleeping Pepper and Carter before turning her attention back to the boy. "Climb over, come on."

Howie gave her a grin and followed orders. Selina supported him closely and then quickly led him out of the room - she knew she'd get in trouble later but didn't care right now. The second the two of them were down the hall they began having a conversation… well… a repetitive conversation about bananas. Selina made a detour into the kitchen to get Howie a banana before making it back to Tony.

Howie ran from her the second his eyes located his father and tried to jump up onto the bed. Tony leant forward, a wince on his face, reaching for the excited two-year-old.

"Careful!" Selina said, quickly hoisting Howie onto the bed. "Howie, Daddy is hurt right now, be careful."

Howie seemed to hesitate before latching onto Tony with a death grip. "Daddy! Miss you! Daddy! Miss you! Gone too long! Back!"

"I missed you too, Howie! I won't go away for that long again," Tony replied in a hushed tone as he held his son before looking up at Selina. "Thank you."

Selina gave him a confident smile before slowly walking out of the room. When Tony turned his attention away from her, she left fully.

It wasn't long until Selina found Arie and started playing blocks with her. She had yet to encounter any other adult and just knew they weren't around. She tried to not think about it too much - last time both of her parents were gone they had lost so many people, including Chloe. The loss of so many people she loved was getting harder to ignore as the days and weeks went past. She wasn't sure she could lose anyone else. Hopefully, they returned with the good news that everybody was back and things would be normal again. Though part of her knew that wouldn't be the case.

When Arie's block tower fell over seconds before her own did, Selina stood up and ran to the nearest window to see a ship descending into airspace. She ran past Arie - who was rebuilding her block tower, unaware of the ship and not caring that Selina had left her - and outside of the building.

"Selina - stay back," Pepper warned, stopping the young girl in her tracks.

Selina didn't even know the older woman was awake, yet alone dressed and outside. She stayed put and turned to look at the door of the ship opening with anticipation.

Her stomach clenched at the sight of everyone as they trudged down the ramp - normally, when they came back from missions on this ship, they had a triumphant look about them. But this time their eyes were dark and all of them were tense. She knew without asking that it hadn't gone like they'd wanted it to.

Worried, she sought out her parents' faces among the Avengers. When she spotted her mother, she started forward somewhat hesitantly, wondering if she would be welcome right now or if they needed space to talk about 'grown-up things'.

Her father wasn't far behind and noticed Selina first. He pointed her out to Natasha, and they made their way over, to Selina's relief.

"Hey, Sel," her dad said with a tight smile.

She hugged them both. "Hi, Dad. Hi, Mum. How'd it go?"

Mum distractedly ruffled her hair. "You eaten?" she questioned, not actually looking down at her but into the distance absentmindedly.

She hated when they got like this - it was rare before everyone disappeared, but these last few weeks it kept popping up. She felt like, when they were like this, there was nothing she could do to make things better. They were too distant.

"I did," she answered, subdued.

Steve put a hand on her shoulder comfortingly, although it didn't have its intended effect because he looked so haunted and was hardly able to hide it.

Selina bit her lip, unsure why there were suddenly tears trying to escape her eyes. She looked down. "Are you… okay?" Not sure if she wanted to know the truth.

Her mum finally looked down at her and was on one knee immediately, her expression almost blank but a multitude of emotions running through behind it. She took a deep breath and didn't even attempt to smile. "No. We failed to get everybody back. And right now we don't know what else to do."

The harsh reality was hard to swallow, and she couldn't meet her mother's eyes. However, the tears dried up and her breathing calmed. "That's okay," she said quietly, working up the nerve to make eye contact, "You always figure things out in the end."

Her dad's grip on her shoulder tightened a little, not painful but startling. She didn't complain, instead putting one of her hands on top of his and grabbing on just as tightly. Being anchored helped calm her the rest of the way. Mum and Dad would fix this. She knew it.

"Let's go inside," her mum decided, not waiting to do so.

Selina and Steve shared a look before following after her, hand-in-hand.

* * *

Tony tried his hardest to keep it together as Howie sat in his lap, playing with Tony's fingers and laughing in delight. Normally his son's joy improved his mood a thousand times over… but now it only served as a harsh contrast to his own mental state.

He wiggled his fingers, making Howie laugh harder.

Tony just couldn't believe he'd failed so hard. He'd faced many failures in his life, some enough to bring him to his knees… but even the worst of them was nothing compared to this.

He was honestly surprised Pepper was so adamant about this not being his fault. He knew she would naturally be a bit biased, but even she couldn't look at what had happened and not see his share of the blame, right?

Apparently, she could, and shut him down every time he tried to convince her otherwise.

She just didn't understand! If he'd just been quicker, come up with a solid plan, protected his teammates better…

It should have been him. Not all of them. Not… not Peter.

Even now he was conflicted; his survivor's guilt warring with his protectiveness. He shouldn't have been left alive while the others perished, but… he looked down at the crown of Howie's head, framed with wild curly hair. He still wasn't sure who he'd gotten that from.

His family needed him, so it was good that he was alive.

_Even though Rhodey's family, and Peter's family, and… everyone's families will never be the same again. _

He was so selfish. But, then again, when had he ever had a problem with being selfish? In the end, his family was still intact, and he was thankful that he could be sitting here now, holding his son.

Maybe lucky was the word. He was so damned lucky.

Natasha walking into the room put an instant halt to his thoughts. Her expression told him everything he needed to know - they had failed.

"We took down Thanos… but he had destroyed the Infinity Stones."

That was even worse. That took away all chances of undoing this.

He didn't reply and Natasha left as suddenly as she arrived.

For whatever reason, his soul wasn't any heavier with this news. Maybe he'd known it all along.

_It should have been me… shouldn't it?_

Tony wasn't terribly afraid of death - in fact, he could hardly remember a time when it had been more than an annoying concept. When he'd been sitting there, bleeding out, he'd hardly spared a thought towards the afterlife, or what dying felt like, or wondering what future events he'd miss out on.

But he _had _been afraid.

All he could think about, on that godforsaken planet and on the doomed shuttle, was Pepper and Howie. He'd feared for them as he'd never felt fear before - crushing, suffocating, dizzying in its intensity.

What would they do without him? How would Howie turn out without his father there to support and protect him? How could Pepper raise their son all alone? He knew they could adapt to life without him, and he knew he wasn't the best husband and father as it was, but it would be much harder on them to lose a pillar of support and he wanted to protect them from such an awful blow.

Howie cooed happily, clapping in excitement. Tony wiggled his fingers some more and it was like he was performing magic for how entertaining his son found this. The toddler grabbed one of Tony's hands with both of his tiny ones, running little fingertips over his daddy's palm as he examined it thoroughly.

So innocent and small. This little boy needed his father, and the only worth Tony's life had left was its usefulness to his family. He would do whatever it took to keep them happy and safe.

Shuddering and barely holding himself together, Tony wrapped his arms around Howie and hugged him. The child immediately turned around in his hold and reciprocated, tiny arms barely able to reach his father's sides. Tony felt him turn his head and press an ear to his chest, listening happily to the sound of his dad's heartbeat.

Unable to hold back his sobs any longer, Tony released them as he held his precious little one close.

* * *

**Apologies for the tear-jerking chapter... A review would be great!**


	4. Hope?

**Here is the next chapter!**

**We will be regulating our posting soon, however, both Violet and I are extremely busy and want to make sure the chapters are finished properly before posting! **

**Thank you to the amazing individuals who have reviewed! And everybody reading, following, and who have faved this.**

* * *

Natasha was at a loss with herself. For the first time in a long time, she was unsure of what to do and there was nobody to turn to tell her. Nobody knew what to do. Even Fury was gone. There was so much loss and so much time had already passed since they were taken away from the world that she felt numb.

It was hard to believe that they had failed so drastically that there wasn't another option. They had been back for three days and Natasha hadn't even ventured to her bedroom - she was searching for anything to say that there was still hope. Searched through everything. Listened to everything that came her way.

It was hopeless.

Unless a miracle occurred, she had lost Chloe forever. They had lost half of the world… half of the _universe_ forever.

Clint had vanished four hours after they returned to earth - Natasha didn't stop him, not that he had given her that choice. He would deal with losing his whole family in his own way. He knew where to find her. And for the most part, she would know how to find him.

Tony, Pepper, and Howie left only a few hours ago. Tony had accepted fate somehow and resigned from active duty. He wasn't in any condition mentally or physically at the moment anyway. Even when Tony tried to make a joke about 'taking Barton's idea', it fell flat… Barton's idea didn't save his family.

Thor had also left, deciding to take what little remained of the Asgardians to settle into a new home.

Natasha hadn't seen Rhodey in the last three days but knew he was still on base. She couldn't imagine what he was going through, having to deal with raising his daughter without Wanda. Natasha still had Steve - without him, she wasn't sure if she would still be standing.

Steve spent half of his time on the base looking after Carter and Selina, and half going to wherever in the world Natasha sent him.

Steve, Captain Marvel, Rockett, Nebula, and eventually Rhodey had been helping to keep the peace. They were sent to defuse any problems to stop humanity from killing itself off. Captain Marvel had agreed to stay on earth for nine days before splitting her time and Rockett was keen to get off earth too - too many questions from other humans had been driving him a little crazy.

Natasha laid her head down on the desk for just a second. If she could just figure out how to stop humans from attacking one another for a minute then she might find a solution to bringing everybody back. All she had to do was fix everything and everybody. She would continue to lead until the very end.

* * *

It was late when Steve returned from the city; as opposed to being sent far away for this mission, Nat had decided to keep him close today and he'd been more or less policing civilians in the vicinity of the base all day. In some ways, it was more grueling work than the missions they'd used to go on: hunting down bad guys, saving the day… At least then there was a clear goal in mind and the reassurance that there was something they could do, no matter how small.

But this… this felt like he was herding cats. He could stop people from going berserk on each other, but for how long? Often times fights started right back up as soon as he turned his back. After this event to end all events, the respect his uniform alone could garner was now drastically reduced, with people often hardly batting an eye when Captain America himself came up to stop them from publicly murdering their neighbours with broken bottles or guns held in shaking hands.

Or they turned their aggression towards him, the man who had failed to keep their loved ones safe from Thanos' grasp… It was preferable, he could take it, he could disarm them easier that way without risking other lives, but... it was disheartening to see his fellow Americans hitting such a low point. Many were just feral shadows of their former selves.

He was sore and exhausted as he trudged through the base towards the room he shared with Nat, but he realised on the way that, if the past few days were any indication, he wouldn't find his wife there. Sighing, he redirected his course a bit and headed for the conference hall she'd turned into an office of sorts.

Sure enough, he found her slumped over her desk, surely forming plenty of cricks in her neck and spine. The papers under her folded arms were scattered and unruly, so unlike her usual composed organisation that it made him more worried than before - if that was even possible.

She was out cold, he could tell immediately. He was glad for it; she hadn't slept hardly at all the past few days. She deserved rest.

Steve went around the long table to stand by her side, gently lifting one of her elbows and sliding a file folder free. She mumbled a bit, brow scrunching up, but thankfully she didn't wake. He gathered the scattered papers together and tucked them into the folder so they'd at least not be out in the open for others to see, then set it aside and turned back to his wife. Not having the heart to wake her, he carefully maneuvered one arm under her knees and the other around her shoulders, pulling her close.

It was a testament to her exhaustion that this obvious movement didn't have her scrambling to stab him in the jugular - in an uncharacteristically tender moment, she curled up closer to him and went still again. A sad smile pulled at his lips and he carried her off to bed.

* * *

Despite clearly being dead tired and getting to sleep late at night, Natasha still opened her eyes early the next morning, to Steve's surprise and chagrin. He'd tried to keep quiet as he got ready for the day, but he must have stepped too loudly as he pulled his boot on.

"Morning, Sunshine," he greeted quietly, in case she had a headache.

Natasha's initial confusion from waking up in a different place disappeared instantly at his voice and she sat up. "Why didn't you wake me? How long was I sleeping for?" she asked, her voice determined but laced with sleep.

"Not nearly long enough - which is why I didn't wake you."

Natasha let out a sigh before sliding out of bed. She paused and took a breath. "There's too much to do, Steve." She looked down at her clothes before seeming to decide she _should_ change for the first time in three days and pulling open the closest drawer.

He let out a sigh of his own, coming to stand closer to her and putting a hand over hers, gently trying to stop her. "You're working yourself too hard, Nat. You need to cut back."

"Tell that to the idiots who are setting fires… or the criminals attacking unsuspecting victims… and the social workers who need help to find homes for the countless children who lost both their parents… or explaining to the parents who lost their kids that there's no hope, and that they should just forget that a month ago they had to take them to soccer practice because they're gone and not coming back. People need help, Steve. Churches are blooming, schools are reopening and they need teachers, prisons are recruiting officers and would probably be overcrowded if there were police officers controlling things but even the fucking FBI has gone crazy! So how can you tell me that I'm working too hard when I'm not even making a dent in any of that? They need help!" she ranted, her words getting quicker and angrier as she went.

Despite the acid in her words, she didn't pull her hand away, and that told him everything he needed to know. He pulled it closer and covered it with his other hand, sitting down on the bed beside her.

"I know they need help. Everybody does. People are still panicking and it feels like the end of the world out there… But things will get better. It might be bad now, but remember what it was like a month ago? The people are banding together now, and helping each other - it isn't just our job to help them. They're finding peace slowly, and we just need to make sure it continues."

"Then that's what I'll do." She tried to walk off but his grip stopped her. She looked down at him, not pulling away but glaring.

"That doesn't fall only on you, Nat - you were hit just like the rest of the world, and you're taking charge of too many things at once. The world won't end if you relax your grip a little."

"Then who does it fall on?" she challenged.

"All of us," he replied immediately. "The Avengers, the government, the police, community leaders, authority figures… everyone. We need to work with them, but we need to trust them as well. Trying to control the populace while they're suffering such a huge blow will only tire you out more and make things worse."

Natasha looked away from him, her expression suddenly unreadable. "What am I supposed to do then? Watch it happen?" her words weren't as sharp as before but it was clear she was still resisting what he was saying, at least a little.

He ran his thumb over her knuckles comfortingly. "No. You've been doing great work, important work. Just… don't burn yourself out. All of us need you at your best, including Selina. She needs us both to be strong for her, and I can't do that alone."

"So… what would you have me do?" she asked simply, still not showing him her emotions.

His hand moved up to her shoulder. She still wouldn't quite look at him, but he could feel the difference in her. It was enough to give him hope. "Get yourself cleaned up, eat something, and spend some time with Selina and Carter. Leave the rest to me for today."

Natasha finally looked at him for a second to say, "fine," before pulling away from him, walking into the bathroom and locking it.

Relieved, he went to the conference room with purpose in his steps. Things might be in chaos for now, but he was starting to see more and more that, in time, it would be alright.

* * *

Whatever good feelings he'd had that morning were long dead by the time eight o'clock rolled around that evening. His head was pounding ferociously and his hands were starting to cramp from repetitive typing and phone-answering. How the hell had Nat survived doing so much work for days on end? He'd managed to get almost all of it done, but it had been a struggle.

At the start of the day, his focus had been on searching out significant threats and dispatching the other Avengers to take care of them. This got a bit tricky, as he had to keep in mind Rhodey wanting to be with his daughter for as long as possible and also who would be watching the kids now that Pepper had left. Not to mention transportation and matching each Avenger's skillset to the crisis they could best handle. Then there was keeping in communication with them to ensure their missions went smoothly and they didn't need reinforcements.

When he wasn't doing that, he was in constant communication with the CIA, FBI, various police forces and investigation units, to ensure peace was kept amongst the citizens. Sometimes he would receive a request to use Tony's advanced computer system to quickly search out the fates of people who had been travelling away from home when Thanos decimated the population.

Between those calls he had to go through recruitment forms to bolster their manpower, and then it was on to setting up connections between schools, orphanages and social workers to try and get the students and orphans into stable situations, as well as to set up a network to find more teachers, social workers, foster homes, and the like.

There were also lots of websites left unmanned, and he was working with various agencies and private citizens to get them up and running at maximum efficiency - with special focus on job-finding sites and communications.

He'd also had to send out a batch of drones Tony had recently built to put out fires when the thinned-out firefighters quickly became overwhelmed. Another batch of drones, specialised for crowd control, was also requested for use by the local PD.

He'd been in infrequent communication with S.H.I.E.L.D, but sometimes his calls went unanswered or he was given cryptic answers that were really of no help at all.

As challenged as he was with modern electronic devices, he had no hope of meddling with social media itself, and instead enlisted the help of the heads of those companies to ensure widespread panic didn't break out again over misinformation. He requested copies of the official report of the incident be circulated all over the web for the public to read, as well as the sentiment that it was unfortunately unlikely that this will be reversed. Acting on a stroke of inspiration, he also added that the phone numbers and addresses of nearest churches and support groups be shared with the people, as well as the times of their services or meetings.

Finally, when his phone wasn't glued to his ear or he wasn't holo-conferencing with grave-faced officials, he spent as much time as he was able researching the Infinity Stones. There wasn't much to be found, unfortunately, but it was the least he could do.

He had just hung up after making little progress with Agent Matherson when he noticed, firstly, how late it had gotten, and secondly, that he wasn't alone. Natasha was leaning against the wall just inside the door, her phone in hand and an amused smile on her face. He was glad to see the rings under her eyes had lightened and she seemed more alert.

"You look like crap," she stated, pocketing her phone but not moving from her position.

Tired as he was, he smirked. "Maybe, but at least now I know I was right."

"There's nobody else to do it, Steve," she told him, her expression sobering. "There are very few people who can make the whole world listen and while they're listening, one of us needs to be talking. You're exhausted after fourteen hours. Things will get better and there'll be less for us to do but can you honestly say that we shouldn't take the brunt of the work? After all, we were useless in stopping the decimation; it's our duty to help now, to help fix what we can when we are really needed."

"You're right," he admitted, "however, my point still stands: what good will we be if we're half-dead all the time? I'd be happy to help you with this; the two of us could probably get it done in half the time."

"The world doesn't sleep," she said before walking over to him. "But you're right that we should work together. It's too much for one person. Eat dinner, then go sleep. I'll be there in a few hours." She said, stepping between him and the computer to physically shift him away from it.

Unable to stop himself from chuckling at the sudden role reversal, he raised his hands in surrender and stood. "Okay, okay, I get it. Yes, ma'am."

Natasha then smirked. "You can take the early shift tomorrow; I promised Selina I'd train her again in the mornings." She clearly loved bossing him around.

He certainly didn't mind it now. "Sounds good. Don't go insane." He gave her a quick kiss and left, and he could hear her tapping away on the computer before he was out of earshot.

* * *

**Thank you for reading! A review would be most appreciated!**


	5. Birthday Central

Months after they defeated Thanos, the world was starting to heal. It was starting to move on. Most schools had reopened, quite a lot of them merging with one another to consolidate their attendance numbers. Some of the unused schools were turned into orphanages to deal with growing demand. Housing issues were still a problem but slowly getting resolved, as most people were remaining on their previous properties, but that didn't seem to stop those sorts of arguments.

The respective governments around the world and organisations including the CIA, FBI, and S.H.I.E.L.D had all regrouped and were now back to full force - that really showed Natasha that anybody is replaceable.

With all of this occurring, there was less for Natasha and Steve to do. They were still in contact with all of the organisations and occasionally stepped in with other matters, but the main thing they managed were the Avengers themselves, dispatching them when necessary to keep the peace.

Captain Marvel generally worked off-world but kept in semi-constant contact, visiting at random points but always a call away.

Rockett and Nebula ended up teaming up on nearly all of their missions.

Rhodey would go on-world only, and he was starting to be recognised as a 'good' face. He was used a lot to boost morale when it was needed and attended a different school weekly to give a motivational speech. This worked out really nicely as they didn't tend to overrun and it was easier to look after Arie.

Steve was out half the time; if he wasn't on a mission, he was attending and co-running support meetings for those still dealing with the loss. He tried to attend as many as he could but Natasha could see the toll it was taking on him and sometimes sent him on random missions just to help him. The two of them were spending a lot of time together and usually managed to sleep at the same time. It was weird how the two of their routines were stabilising when months ago Natasha barely even registered that he wasn't one of the people snapped out of their lives.

Natasha, herself, found their schedules to suit them well. Though she knew there needed to be a little bit of a change. Selina had Natasha in the mornings and Steve in the evenings; neither of them were really aware of what their daughter would get up to during the day.

Today, however, was going to be different. Selina was turning eight today. Natasha and Steve had found themselves discussing what to do for her birthday and what would be appropriate too. In the end they had decided to keep it similar to the last few birthdays they had celebrated with her. Therefore Natasha had gone out and brought her boatload of new clothing - seeing as she was growing out of it and didn't have as much as she should have here - and accessories. Steve would focus on the more practical things: a new bag filled with supplies and activities Selina could delve into, such as word searches, pads of paper for writing and drawing, and an art set, amongst other things. The both of them also got her a tablet which was restricted to only allow games and educational resources.

Rhodey had offered to redecorate Selina's room in the morning while Steve and Natasha were keeping her busy, which involved a paint job and assembling a new bed and putting in some 'girly things'. Steve and Natasha let him have free-range on that.

Natasha slipped on a semi-normal outfit and looked at Steve; it was time for breakfast. And instead of it only being Natasha joining Selina and whoever else decided to turn up, Steve would be coming too. "Ready?"

He finished tying his shoe and stood. "Of course." He looked thoughtful for a moment and asked, "Should we have planned something bigger for her breakfast? We could go somewhere."

She gave him a weird look. "I'm not ready to take her out _there_," she said with a shake of her head. "I think both of us being there will be more than enough."

Steve shrugged. "I suppose that's fair." He led the way, holding the door open for her with a flourish. "After you, My Lady."

Natasha rolled her eyes. "Why'd I marry you again?" she muttered as she walked past him. Seriously, why did he have to do things like that?

"I just figured you had a thing for _older _men," Steve mumbled teasingly.

"Definitely not," was the only response she gave before walking into the kitchen, ensuring to get the door herself and let it close on Steve. Two can play his game. "Hey Sel!"

Selina perked up at the sight of her, but then she looked quizzically at the door. "Who…?"

Steve, chuckling to himself, made his way in. "Morning, Selina!"

Thrilled to bits, Selina jumped from her seat, grabbed Natasha's arm, and dragged her over to Steve so they could all share in her excited hug. "Good morning!" she all-but shouted right by their ears, and Natasha noted Steve subtly wincing and smirked a little.

"You didn't think your dad would miss your birthday breakfast, did you?" Natasha questioned, dropping a kiss onto the crown of her head, smiling at her happiness and Steve's displeasure over the ear-splitting pitch Selina chose to shout in. Steve's old man hearing aids clearly couldn't handle it. "Happy birthday - chocolate chip pancakes?"

Selina's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates and her jaw hung open - she was never allowed to have an unhealthy breakfast. "Really? YES! A thousand times YES!" It had been a while since they'd seen Sel act so utterly childish, but it was nice to see that, despite her increasing independence, she was still a happy little kid. Her brief happy dancing at the prospect of sugary food really helped to hammer that home.

A cocky smirk stole over Steve's face and he grabbed an apron from the hook. "I, of course, will make them for you - I am the Master of Pancakes, after all."

"Uh huh, in your dreams, Rogers. Sit down and keep your daughter entertained," Natasha said, physically pushing him away before grabbing the ingredients. "We won't be burning down the kitchen on my watch." She sent Steve a mock-glare before giving Selina a 'don't worry, I've got it' look.

As soon as Steve took a seat next to her, Selina latched onto his arm and bounced eagerly. "I can't wait! I can't wait! Oh! What else are we doing today? Watching a movie? Making a cake? OH! Can we play games? Who did you invite? Do I still have to do homework?"

Steve blinked as he was overrun with questions before waving his hand somewhat dismissively to slow her down. "It's a surprise," was his only answer.

Thankfully Selina loved surprises and she wasn't the least put out by the non-answer.

Natasha focused on making the pancakes, listening to all of Selina's suggestions and hoping that she wouldn't be disappointed with what they did have planned. There wasn't an official party, not that they were in contact with any other children besides the ones already present on the base - although they did invite Tony, Pepper and Howie, but hadn't heard back. Things were tense with everybody not on the base and communication was limited. Additionally, while both of them were spending most of their time with Selina, they were going to strategically have some time checking in on official things, which prompted Natasha's first question for the newly eight-year-old to see if it would be seamless or if she'd need to improvise more carefully. After all, they wanted the whole day to be about Selina - mostly, in her eyes. "I didn't hear you say anything about training," she said as she flopped the first pancake down and slid it over to the excited birthday girl.

Selina, practically foaming at the mouth at the sight of the sweet, paused for a moment, eyes going wide again. "Are we not training today?" Instead of being eager to miss it, like she was about her schooling, she seemed a bit put out at the thought.

"Of course we can, for as long as you want," Natasha replied, a genuine smile on her face. She turned her back to them to make the next batch.

Even without seeing her, it was hard to miss how absolutely excited Selina was at that. The girl let out a squeal before demolishing her pancake in record time, and by the time Natasha came over with the next batch Selina was ready to nab another.

Steve caught Nat's eye over Selina's head and they shared a smile. Steve was now free to man the office during that time. And Natasha sent him a smirk, hoping he'd realise that she'd disappear when he was baking a cake. By his expression, he knew what she was planning.

LINE

Selina settled into the depths of the comfy couch cushion with a huge sigh of contentment. Today had been amazing! Definitely one of the best days of her life - besides the day she was adopted, of course. Or the day Carter was born. Or - well, this was still one of her top five days, to be sure!

She didn't have to do homework, her mum trained with her for an hour and a half (Selina originally asked for it to be two hours, but couldn't last that long after all), her dad let her help make her birthday cake (although he made her promise to keep it a secret since the birthday girl shouldn't have to do any of the work), everyone on the base made it in time to celebrate, and Rhodey had redecorated her room! That had been his present to her, and she loved it - although the smell of the new paint was still a little strong. But her walls were light purple and matched her new bedspread, and now she had a vanity mirror and pretty butterfly decals and hanging fairy lights! Uncle Tony and his family hadn't been able to make it, but they did send her a super fancy art desk that fit perfectly in her room; it even came with a bunch of really expensive art supplies! She got a warm fuzzy feeling seeing it, since she'd only gotten really interested in art recently, just before everyone vanished, and it meant Uncle Tony _had _been listening when she'd been rambling about it.

The rest of her presents were really great, too! The newer people on the team that she didn't know very well had all chipped in to get her a gift card - it wasn't for a lot of money, but she was just thrilled they'd thought of her. Her mum had promised to help her use it online, since her parents still didn't want Selina going out into the city as it was right now.

Her parents had gotten her really awesome presents- her dad had gotten her lots of puzzles, board games, school supplies and activity books. Her mum got her bags and bags of new clothes, which was nice because her pants were getting too short for her and her shirts were too childish now.

They'd also gotten her a tablet, which just… she sighed again, remembering the joy she'd felt when she opened the box. It was _awesome_! Everyone else on-base had super cool gadgets and electronics, and now she had something for herself! She could walk around holding it like Pepper did with _her _tablet and she'd look so much cooler! Like she was part of the team!

There had been games they'd played earlier that had totally tired her out; it had turned into a huge game of hide and seek, which then turned into tag, and it had been hard work getting away from Arie since she was really fast and kept targeting Selina.

Her eyelids drooped, but she determinedly tried to keep them open. She'd never seen this movie before - she had to know who the mysterious villain was!

Her dad shifted next to her, and it startled her enough that she was able to focus on the screen fully… for a few minutes. Her mum's arm was around her shoulders and she was rubbing her arm and it felt so nice… And both of her parents were keeping her warm on both sides, and her mum's side was so comfy to curl up against…

She was out cold before the movie was even halfway done.

LINE

Rhodey smiled as his daughter splashed her princess wand in the water again, spattering his shirt with even more droplets. The mud she'd coated herself in was slowly being scrubbed off to reveal that there was, in fact, a little girl under all of it, but thankfully she loved bathing just as much as she loved rolling in dirt and jumping in mud puddles, so she didn't put up a fuss at all. The bathwater was swiftly turning murky around her; he'd probably have to drain it _again_.

He got a bit annoyed as the plastic tiara she'd stuck on his head started to slide down his forehead; he used his arm to push it back into place.

Her fourth birthday had been a smashing success, he decided. He'd done everything in his power to make it as normal as possible, with cake and presents and all of her friends. They even spent a couple of hours with Tony and Howie - which was where the majority of the mud came from. Anything to make her mother's absence less obvious.

His smile faltered. Wanda… was she upset to be missing this, wherever she was? How would they have done things today if she'd been here? Would Arie have been even happier?

Rhodey's mood stayed rather low whenever he thought of his beloved. He missed her painfully, and he hurt on their daughter's behalf for not having her mother around. She was still too young to understand what had happened, but sometimes her happy-go-lucky attitude would falter as she searched out 'Mama'. It broke his heart.

Thankfully Arie had had a great day, beaming as she ate her colourful cake and squealing with joy as she tore open her presents. She'd laughed hysterically as she brought the 'Princess Party' with Selina into a mud puddle, although the older girl did a better job of keeping her dress clean. Then again, Arie's goal had been to make her frilly skirt as muddy as possible - not that she wasn't already muddy from pulling Howie into every mud pile she could find.

It had been a great day… he couldn't bring things down now.

He took a clean washcloth and tenderly cleaned her precious face. She smiled up at him, patting his arm with her wand.

He kept it together as he got her dressed in her favorite princess footie pajamas and tucked her in.

"Goodnight, Arianna." He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I love you."

She giggled. "Night night, Daddy!" A sloppy kiss was pressed to his cheek. "Wuv you!"

He waited until he was certain she was asleep and wouldn't overhear, and only then did he break down.

LINE

Selina scrunched her nose as she carefully finished the final invitation for Carter's birthday in two days' time. She grinned to herself before glancing at Carter - he was still there, this time anyway. He loved crawling and occasionally waddling too much for her liking. She blew on the ink to ensure it was dry before grabbing them all and jumping up. "Are you ready to deliver these, Carter?" she asked the nearly one-year-old.

Eager as always, the toddler grabbed onto the coffee table and hefted himself to his feet with a giant, drooly grin. He started reaching for the invitations in her hand. "Ah!"

Selina quickly pocketed them, not wanting him to ruin them before they got to the intended individual. Carter had a tendency to eat anything he got his hands on. "I'll hold them until we get to them." She then took both of his hands and manually steered him on the hunt to find everybody in the base and hopefully some of the Avengers who only occasionally visited. "Let me know if you see somebody!"

"Ah!" he agreed, legs awkwardly toddling around as he tried to run. His chubby fingers held tightly to hers while his feet were trying to carry him away. As they made their journey through the halls, he swivelled his head from side to side, looking for any signs of people.

They passed the gym first, peeking inside.

"Bah!" Carter screamed upon seeing Steve, who was pummeling a punching bag. Her dad looked up at the sudden sound, a smile instantly coming to his face.

"Well hello there!" he greeted warmly, coming over to them. Carter got increasingly excited as his grandpa got closer, dancing in place and nearly knocking Selina over.

Selina carefully retracted one of her hands and pulled out the invitations, instantly finding the correct one and handing it to Carter.

"Give it to Dad. Carter, give it to Dad," she encouraged, hoping he listened. She sent her dad a big, almost shy, smile.

Steve chuckled and waited patiently while Carter examined the paper in fascination before the baby finally thrust it to him, crumpling it in his fist.

"Thank you, Carter!" Steve read it out loud, thankfully not commenting on how bad Selina knew her spelling was. "'You are invited to Carter's birthday party. 7am in the kitchen on Wednesday. Bring a present.'. I'm honored to be invited," he teased, ruffling first Carter's, then Selina's hair. He carefully folded the invitation and stuck it in his pocket, and she wondered if he was going to save it like both of her parents sometimes did when she drew them a picture. She always thought it was weird, but it made her feel warm inside too.

She retook Carter's other hand. "No time for chit chat, Dad, we have lots of invitations to give out! Carter is a very popular little boy. Aren't you?" she asked the toddler before guiding him out.

Throughout the next thirty minutes they bumped into Rhodey and Arie, who each got their own invitations, and they even found that new lady with the blonde hair and gave her one as well. It was awkward because they hardly knew her, but she smiled and thanked them and promised to try and make it anyway. They bumped into the blue woman as well, but she seemed kind of spaced out, so Carter plopped an invitation on her lap and they continued on.

Unfortunately it seemed everyone else was on a mission, so they made their way to Natasha's office. They were hardly in the door before Carter screamed his usual greeting, interrupting whatever it was her mum had been working on.

"Hi, Mum," she said in a stage whisper and handed Carter the invitation like it was a routine now. She was almost scared about interrupting her while she was working; this would be the first time she'd done it. "Carter has something for you."

Her mum smiled at her placidly and bent down to receive Carter. With a quick swoop she picked him up with one arm and tapped on her keyboard before turning her attention back to them. "What's this?" she asked, accepting the invitation.

Selina waited in anticipation for her mother's response - or even approval - before smiling to match her mother's grin.

"A perfect idea, Sel. I'd be delighted to attend and celebrate his birthday. Thank you."

Selina beamed with pride at her mother's reaction and held out the other invitations. "We couldn't find everybody so… could you-"

"Of course. I'll make sure they get them," Natasha said, interrupting her and accepting them before placing Carter onto the ground. "You two should get some lunch."

Selina saw the computer flashing and got the hint immediately. She saw Carter about to complain and quickly intercepted - she didn't want to add pressure. "Sure! Carter, I hear there's strawberries!"

That was easy enough to encourage him to leave the room- in fact, he practically dragged her.

END OF CHAPTER


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi guys! Another chapter!**

**Unfortunately, my motivation for this story has highly dwindled... I'm planning on powering through but forewarning that it might simply disappear. **

* * *

Natasha withdrew herself from Steve's comforting hold; they were both still sweaty from their previous activity, and she grabbed a bottle of water from the side drawers. She downed half of it before offering Steve some. She had gotten particularly handsy with her husband after he reminded her - oh too casually, might she add - that it was their anniversary. Those sorts of anniversaries weren't playing in her mind at the moment; they hadn't been for a year and a half since half of the world was wiped out of existence. She was actually ashamed it had slipped her mind so easily.

Anniversaries were an important thing, especially when both parties were there to enjoy them. She had tried to comfort Rhodey over his devastation over an anniversary with Wanda - but hadn't even connected the dots that she would have one too.

She made a mental note for next year but wondered if she should do anything else to make it up to him; seeing as he hadn't done anything overly special made her feel more comforted. There wasn't anything she had to live up to. Sometimes, she hated how thoughtful, initiative, sentimental, and kind Steve was, but other times she absolutely loved it. This was the time she loved it, and him.

Natasha pushed herself up to a seated position when he handed the bottle back and downed the rest of its contents. She was tired but not ready to go to sleep yet. "What do you think we'd be doing right now if-" she stopped suddenly, not wanting to finish that question, but it was already out there.

He tilted his head questioningly. "'If'? You mean… if we'd stopped him in time?" he asked quietly.

She bobbed her head in a half nod. This was a cruel question, but everybody would have thought about it still once. Without waiting for his response, she gave an almost dreamlike view of what it might have been like. "I feel that Chloe would have moved out to live with Peter and Carter and we'd get random texts and calls from her. She has your cooking skills so they'd have lots of microwavable meals. And she'd be working at Stark Industries." She paused, not looking at Steve. "Selina would still be attending school, having a normal life. She'd have continued to dance and be begging us to let her attend dance camp. She wouldn't be as hyper-focused on learning to fight but she'd know how to defend herself really well." Another pause. "You would have picked up another stupid hobby of yours, found a more flexible job so I could continue running the Avengers. You'd have actually gotten bored by now and returned to the Avengers part time." Another pause. "And I would…" she started but didn't continue, not trusting the words that would follow.

"You'd be the 'cool' parent and be off doing what you do best," he supplied with a wry smile. "You would continue working with the Avengers and doing missions, and still have time to come home and spend with Selina. Very similar to how it is now."

"At least my life hasn't been destroyed by Thanos," she said almost sarcastically. Suddenly she shook her head. "Let's not talk about this."

Steve rubbed his hand on her arm. "It's alright, Nat. Sometimes it's impossible to avoid thinking about it… Sometimes I'll find myself wondering what would've happened if we had vanished instead. Would the girls be alright? Who would look after them? Would someone else be able to figure out how to fix this?" His eyes were distant and he didn't seem to be talking to her so much anymore as just voicing his thoughts. He suddenly snapped back to reality. "It's torture, thinking about 'what-ifs'."

Natasha looked at him, hating that she had brought this up now. She slid closer to him, hoping that closeness would help soothe him. "I'll be ready if we figure it out… until then," she paused, thinking of the peppiest pep talk she could muster up. After thinking it through, she found it wasn't the hardest thing to do. "Selina _is_ happy and smart. She is focused and apart from being stuck in the base, there's not a whole lot wrong with her life. She loves life. Carter is a happy little boy, he's walking, and learning new things every day. You and I are still going strong, we didn't bend under the pressure. There are so many good things in the world…" she said, drifting off. She tried to stop herself from thinking an end of the sentence, but at least was able to stop herself from saying it out loud - _but there's more bad about the world than good._

His lips quirked and he leaned over, kissing her. "And here I thought giving inspirational speeches 'wasn't your forte'."

She scoffed. "You're rubbing off on me," she replied with a sly grin before pulling him into a long kiss before leaning against the headboard again, their conversation running through her head. "Why don't we send Selina back to school?" she suggested, hoping it didn't come out of nowhere.

If he was fazed by the non sequitur, he didn't show it. "I've been thinking about that," he admitted. "I want her to be around other kids again. It would be good for her… but the thought of sending her out there while the world's in pieces…"

"It's been nineteen months, Steve. I'm sure some places will remain broken for… well, they might not recover. But some places have and Rhodey has been to countless schools; we could get his opinion on which ones are good now. She needs the opportunity to get out of the base."

He was quiet for a bit, mulling that over. Finally, he said, "You're right. But she needs secure transportation to and from the building, and she needs to keep up her self-defense training. Everything that's happened has brought out the crazy in a lot of people."

Natasha nodded in agreement. "We'll give her a phone and have three trackers on her too."

"And have a drone follow her all day," he continued, the tiniest hint of a teasing smile on his face.

"Great minds think alike," she replied with a smirk. Natasha glanced at the time and saw that it was already three in the morning - how time flies. She knew they should be going to sleep but her mind was currently in overdrive. Instead, she slipped out of bed and headed to the bathroom for a shower. She heard Steve's confusion without him saying anything and poked her head out. "Just going to have a shower, feel free to join me," she said before leaving the door open and turning the faucet on hot. It only took a few seconds before she had her answer.

* * *

Rhodey scooped up his four-year-old daughter and carried her out to the car. He tickled her sides, making her scream with laughter and try to escape his hold, before popping her into the car seat. He tickled her sides again before strapping her in. He then handed her a juice box, a banana, and two toys. It was a bit of a drive to Tony's and he didn't want to have to pull over on the way - somehow that always added an hour to the journey.

"You ready?" he asked her.

Arie nodded eagerly before asking him to open her juice box straight away - he did so and then shut her door.

"You off?" Steve asked, appearing in the hangar, looking like he was ready to go for a jog.

Rhodey nodded. "Yeah, getting Arie out of the base for a couple of days. Nat knows."

Steve chuckled. "She would."

Rhodey smiled which widened as Selina came out also in jogging gear. "Long run planned?"

Steve glanced behind him. "We're going to see how long we can go; Selina's convinced she can go for seven hours."

"I can! I'll show you."

"Perhaps seven miles," Rhodey inputted. "See you all in a few days."

"Bye, Rhodey! Have fun!" Selina said before running off. "Catch me if you can, Dad!"

Steve chuckled. "See you later," he said to him before following his daughter.

Rhodey waited a few moments, seeing the happiness and wondered if he should be 'training' his daughter like Steve and Nat were. It would make sense that she knew how to protect herself, but she was just a little girl. He looked at his daughter who seemed to be bored while waiting for him to get in. She wouldn't be little forever and he didn't want to wait until she _needed_ to protect herself to teach her. He sighed and slipped into the car.

* * *

Arianna kicked her legs back and forth in anticipation. She couldn't wait to get to Uncle Tony's and see Howie again. She had slowly understood that she couldn't see her Mama ever again but couldn't quite grasp why she couldn't see Howie as much as possible. They knew where _he _was! "Are we there yet?" she asked impatiently. They had been driving for _hours_! At least to her, they had.

"Not yet, Arie," her father replied patiently.

"But it's been forever!" she complained with a pout. It would be so much quicker if they lived together!

Arie grabbed her teddy from next to her and held it to her face. It smelt like her mama and reminded her to be calm and patient. That lasted for a good 34 seconds before she asked again: "Are we there yet?"

"Nearly, Arie, a few more minutes."

"Can you go faster?" she questioned.

She scrunched up her nose when he laughed - he wasn't taking her _need_ to see Howie seriously.

"Dada!"

"Sorry, Arie. I'll go faster."

Arianna grinned triumphantly as she felt the car move faster. Now they'd be there in no time! Though, no time was still a really long time.

Eventually, the car slowed to a stop and Arianna pulled and pushed at her seatbelt to remove it to no avail. She wiggled and twisted in excitement as she waited to be released. The second she was she pelted towards the house and jumped onto Tony, who was the first person she saw. "UNCLE TONY!"

Tony held her in a hug. "There you are! You took forever!"

Arianna continued to hold him tightly, not ready to let go of him - she'd just gotten him back, after all! "I know! Dad was being soooooo slow!"

Tony laughed and rubbed her back before setting her down on the group and whispering: "I think you need a super suit." Arie nodded eagerly. "Howie's inside, go find him."

Arianna didn't need any more prompting as she ran past Tony and into the house, instantly finding Howie and giving him a big hug. This was right. This was what made Arie the happiest - being with her friends and family.

* * *

Steve put his hand to his chin and studied the news footage carefully. He was leaning against the wall behind Nat as she sat at her desk, and he saw her tapping her fingers in the slightest agitation. There was a riot going on a few miles from the base, on the outskirts of the city. No one was sure how it had started yet, but already police were being overwhelmed by the sheer brutality the rioters were employing.

The live footage got grainy for a few moments and Steve's jaw clenched, hoping the feed wouldn't go down. They wanted to make sure Tony's crowd control bots got there in time and stopped the violence before things got any worse.

The video cleared up again, showing one officer getting pepper-sprayed by a screaming woman and another officer tackling a young man to the ground. Whenever one of the rioters got taken down, however, five more would rush out to take their place. It reminded Steve of several battles the Avengers had fought.

Amidst the chaos, he saw a policewoman going after a teen girl who was swinging a baseball bat.

"Bad idea," he muttered to himself, just in time for the girl's male companion to take the officer by surprise and send her tumbling.

Each altercation was making him tense more and more, his eyes flicking back and forth between the news feed and the holographic display showing the bots' location. Almost there, almost there.

Relief flooded through him as they finally arrived on the scene, neutralising the most violent offenders and allowing the officers an opening to gain the upper hand.

When people were being led away to waiting police cars, Natasha cut the feed and leant back in her chair.

"That was a close one," Steve commented. "I hope nobody got killed this time."

Natasha glanced up at him. "Is that close?" she questioned, her brows furrowed together, obviously recognising something.

He stepped forward and reached around her, pulling up a map of the city and pointing to the general area affected by the riot. "Pretty close, yeah. What would that be - a fifteen-minute drive from here?"

"By your old man standards, I suppose. seven minutes for me," she teased, looking over at the live footage for a second. "New York is refusing to recover. There are loads of states blooming, and some whole countries doing fantastically. Japan, China, Germany, and Turkey to name a few. Yet our own backyard is still… having riots. It's been nearly 2 years."

He nodded solemnly. "I know. I've actually been wondering about that…" he paused for a moment before voicing his theory. "What if more people disappeared from some places than others? A lot more. Since we're spread unevenly all over the world, it would make sense that some places could be much less affected by this than, for example, New York. Here it could be that more people lost loved ones, more jobs have been abandoned and left undone, and so there's more chaos."

Natasha tapped quickly over her keyboard before the screen went blank and she stood. "That is a theory. Some families are more affected than others. Clint lost all four of his children while we only lost half of ours. That across the whole world alone could cause chaos." She sighed. "Everybody will heal eventually…" she said, but she wasn't even pretending to be confident in her own words.

He wasn't sure what it was about her body language, but he instinctively put an arm around her and pulled her close. As he'd expected, she didn't pull away. "Everybody will… including us." The confidence she'd lacked was firm in his voice.

Natasha looked up at him, her eyes searching his before looking away and remaining silent, a thoughtful expression on her face.

They stayed like that for a while before he pulled back and rubbed at her shoulders. "I think a break is in order."

"Only if it involves sparring. I hate desk work."

* * *

Natasha groaned in utter frustration. This was not doing what she wanted, not giving her what she wanted to find out. With a surge of anger, she grabbed the keyboard and threw it across the room towards the window, almost feeling satisfied when she heard the glass shatter. Almost.

"Whoa!" Steve exclaimed, flinching back just a bit from the sudden noise. He raised a brow at her from the doorway. "Something go wrong?"

She glared at him. She didn't need somebody logical right now, she needed somebody to punch - or kill. She supposed she could use him for the former. Natasha huffed and grabbed the keyboard from another desk and plugged it in. "In a way."

Suddenly he was leaning against the desk across from her. "Want to tell me?" He seemed a bit more concerned.

"Only if you don't mind a broken lip," she muttered darkly, staring at the screen blankly.

"Sure," he replied with a shrug. "Now tell me."

Natasha sighed, wanting to smash up the keyboard, mouse, computer, or Steve, but knew she couldn't. Even with his permission, she wouldn't hurt him on purpose. She couldn't help all of the anger and emotions surging through her body and even though it had been nearly two years, she is still so utterly conflicted about everything that had happened. "It's Clint. He's getting… he's killing even more people." She paused. "It's my fault."

Sighing, he scrubbed his hand down his face. "No. Don't start down that trail. Every choice he makes, he makes of his own volition."

She had to force herself to not reply instantly - she knew there are some things better left unsaid. "You don't know him as I do… I could have helped him - I _should_ have but…" she drifted off. If she knew how to help him, she would have by now.

"How could you have helped him?" Steve demanded, reading her mind. "What could you have done to make him _not _become a murderous vigilante? His mind was set the moment he lost his family, and you know nothing could have stopped him."

"You're wrong if you believe that," she spat, her anger now turning on him. "There is a lot I could have done. I could have been there for him, I could have helped him by simply being there. By following him out there. By stopping him! I could have done what he's done for me countless times, but instead, I stayed here and wallowed in my own self-pity instead of helping my best friend!" She was yelling by the end of it and went to storm past him - if she didn't leave, she might regret her actions or words.

He stepped sideways and blocked her path, but didn't move to touch her. "You didn't stay here to wallow. You stayed because you have your family to take care of. Do you really think he would begrudge you that? If you're as close as you say?"

She looked him square in the eyes. "Clint's my family too. He was my family first and I should've chosen _him._" He visibly froze and she took that as her opportunity to forcefully push him out of her way and storm off. Stupid fucking Rogers.

* * *

Tony was in charge of making sure the kids didn't tear the house down (although Pepper had forcefully added that he wasn't allowed to either) while his wife was outside, putting the laundry on the washing line. Thankfully Howie was a freaking angel child and was playing happily with his plastic blocks, but Morgan was being fussy and clingy and he couldn't seem to do anything to her liking.

"You're just like your mummy, aren't you?" he murmured, hoping the kid wouldn't sell him out for it later.

Morgan's face was dark red and crumpled up in rage as she cried and wriggled in his arms. He made to put her down by her brother and she cried harder, clinging to his shirt with tiny fists. Sighing, wondering if this was divine retribution for his many sins, he tried rocking her. No effect. He put her pacifier in her mouth and she grabbed it and chucked it at his face. He offered her a sippy cup of her favourite apple juice and she made a melodramatic keening noise, throwing her head back against his chest (quite powerfully) in a very "woe is me" fashion.

"Kid, if this is the worst thing you'll ever have to experience, count yourself lucky," he scolded without any weight. Morgan let out a particularly agonised sob, throwing her arm over her eyes. Good Lord.

He looked up as his wife walked into the room with two beers in her hand and gave her a confused look. "Don't we usually wait until the children are in bed?"

"Nat's outside."

Tony handed Morgan over and took the beers; he hadn't been expecting to see his former Avenger ally and current friend.

He saw her immediately, sitting on one of the wooden benches a few meters from his house, the shadows of the tree almost making her blend in, and walked over to her. He sat down beside her and offered her one of the beers.

She didn't look up as she accepted the bottle, continuing to stare at the ground with no visible emotion on her face - that's how he knew something was wrong.

"It's been a while," he stated, looking at her to see if there were any physical injuries on her but finding none; she appeared to be in perfect health. It was strange to see her after all this time; while they had stayed in contact, it was very random and usually short conversations. He hadn't actually seen her since they'd defeated Thanos. Since they'd all lost. Had she been looking this defeated since then?

Finally, she spoke up; "I walked out on Steve."

Tony had not been expecting that and instantly had a retort on his lips, ready to joke about the matter and relieve the tension. But he knew now wasn't the time; it had been difficult to find the need to provide jokes and laughter for a long while after going to space, but he had. The length of time it took him to recover made him able to fully appreciate a valuable lesson - that even though he might be ready, others may not be. "Really?"

"I told him Clint was more important and left," she elaborated ever so slightly.

So they had an argument about Clint? "Then why did you come here?"

Natasha glanced up at him before focusing back to the bottle enclosed in her hands. "I wasn't going to come here," she admitted, her voice still void of emotions. "I was going to hunt down Clint."

"Why'd you change your mind?"

"There's nothing I can do for Clint at the moment… just empty promises and more hurt to deal with." She took a swig of her beer. "Unless I went on a killing spree with him."

He stayed quiet for a moment to let her words sink into both of them. "Is that what you want to do?" Tony waited a few moments but realised he wasn't going to get a response to his question. He hoped that Natasha wasn't considering going on a killing spree; she had come so far and he knew the kind of demons she carried with her. If anybody had asked who was more likely to lose it and murder innocents, they would have chosen Nat. However, she was the strongest of them all, maintaining the Avengers, keeping in contact - he was sure with everybody - and helping the world.

She was one of the only who was still changing the world for the good. Steve and Rhodey were constants by her side. The three of them seemed to have adapted as well as he had into this new life - though, Natasha sitting here opposite him, tears threatening to spill down her cheeks as she let her anger go, showed him that he had been misinformed by Rhodey about her mental state.

Had it been Pepper crying, or even his children, Tony wouldn't have hesitated to pull them into a hug. However, this was Natasha. She wasn't one for comfort and he didn't want her anger to return and be directed back on him. Despite this, he moved closer and placed a hand on her arm. "What are you going to do?"

Silence again. He now needed to delve into his inner-hero to give her a pep talk, or motivational speech. He hated them, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

"Listen," he started, rubbing her arm in comfort as she looked at him, "I'm not the best person to take family advice from. But… I've learned some things these last few years. You may have people that you owe the world to, but family still comes first. You told Steve that Clint was more important? Is that true? Because if it is, then go find him. If it's not, then you need to decide who is."

Natasha looked down at her beer.

"Either way, you are welcome to stay the night." With that all said, Tony stood up. He didn't expect Natasha to accept the offer to stay at his, but it was genuine. He couldn't actually decipher what she was thinking. He pulled the blanket off the bench and draped it over her shoulders before walking into his home - she knew where to find him.


End file.
